Tag Archives: They make pills for that…

Pre-Marathon Ramblings: Salt Lake City Edition

Full marathon number four is less than two weeks away, and like most everything else in my life, I’m in complete denial about it. My training has been adequate at best. I’ve had lots of high-mileage weeks; however, in the month of March I blew off many long runs. When all of your training partners get injured, and the weather is out to kill you, and not to mention all the fun of getting a divorce and starting life all over again, running a third 20 miler doesn’t sound so appealing.

My heart will also be heavy knowing that while I’m off running with friends half-way across the country, my entire family will be gathered celebrating Easter and my grandmother’s 95th birthday. I already missed everyone at Christmas, and I could use a good dose of Gudme dry-humor to lift my spirits. Also weighing on my soul is the incredibly difficult decision to re-home two of the cats Randy and I shared. Since I’m unable to take all three (and he’s taking none), it was my only choice. I feel better knowing that I have found some good places for them and they will be taken care of, but still, they were my family. It’s not something I’m going to get over any time soon. In fact, I’m crying as I type this.

I’ve been told two things recently by some very practical men in my life: 1) Focus on the positive, and 2) Happiness is a choice. In the midst of all the sadness there are many positive aspects of my life I’ve been ignoring: I’m able to run. I get to see one of my best friends in Utah that I rarely get to see. I get to keep one kitty, my first kitty, the one who reformed my “dogs only!” attitude. I have wonderfully supportive parents and friends. And last but certainly not least, I have someone in my life who I love and loves me back, inspires me to be the best version of myself, and most importantly puts up with my stress-induced mood swings. If you’re reading this baby: I love you and have no idea how you do it. You deserve a medal more than I do.

And as for happiness being a choice, this past year has taught me how true this really is. I doubt most of us wake up in the morning feeling amazing and stress-free and excited to go into work. If you do, go fuck yourself. Seriously though, we all make a conscious decision to put on our game faces and do the best we can. If we’re lucky something may make us laugh, or we’ll see a good friend, or there will be birthday cake in the office kitchen. Otherwise, all we have to depend on for our happiness is ourselves. I’m sure that if I keep trying to focus on the positives in my life, happiness will come more naturally.

Well, this really had nothing to do with my upcoming marathon, but sometimes you’ve just got to let it all out, you know? And whatever I left unsaid in this post will be demolished on the pavement of Salt Lake City. And if not, there’s always the Charlevoix Marathon. Or my first 50K in September. Or the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon. Good God, what have I done?!

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How to Fit Indoor Marathon Training and a Divorce into your Holiday Schedule

When I was a kid I used to joke that I wanted to be a gypsy when I grew up, and as of late, my dream has sort of come true. I don’t get to tell fortunes and travel around Europe in a covered wagon, but I have been bouncing around places to stay in order to avoid conflict. This has made getting ready for Christmas, and my January indoor marathon, next to impossible.

Despite toying with the idea of dropping to the half-marathon (which would have been a smart decision, the type I rarely make), I’ve decided to be stubborn and forge ahead with training for the full Polar Bear Indoor Marathon at Ohio Northern University. Why? With all that’s going on in my life and the robust winter weather, would I subject myself to this torture? I don’t know, I guess I’m trying to prove to myself that I can do it. That I’m not weak. That I won’t fold under stress and adversity.

Let’s not forget that there’s the holidays to prepare for as well. Eventhough ending my marriage was mostly my decision and I know it’s for the best, it still hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and seeing happy Christmas commercials with pretty couples exchanging diamonds just further twists that knife into my fragile heart. There was no tree decorating while watching Christmas movies this year. There was no laughing at the cats for knocking Christmas decorations off of the mantle. I feel as though part of myself is missing this December.

I’ve decided to avoid many family functions and parties this Christmas to avoid the awkward “Where’s your husband?!” questions. Time I’ve taken off of work will be spent mostly alone, training and thinking and preparing for a solo life in the new year. Though most people say I’m crazy, I can’t think of a better way to kick off 2014 than taking a trip to a small town in Ohio with two awesome girlfriends, for the purpose of running 211 laps around an indoor track.

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To New Beginnings

The end of the year 2013 is fast approaching and I can’t help but start looking back. This past year definitely flew by, probably because I was having so much fun for the most part. Some of the highlights:

1) Running six half marathons

2) Running two full marathons

3) Completing my first sprint triathlon

4) PRing my 5K and 10K

5) Starting a new running/”boozy breakfast” tradition with my friend and favorite running partner Mary Beth

Through running and other exploits, I’ve developed several new relationships in the past year, which is amazing for an introvert like me. I firmly believe that fate has brought every one of these people into my life for good reasons. This past year I also said goodbye to my tumultuous twenties and hello to 30. I admit it was a relief. I can definitely say I entered this new decade with more confidence and a better sense of self than I’ve ever had. However, this better sense of self lead to some questioning of areas in my life in which I’ve been unhappy with for a long time, which brings me to the not-at-all-fun part of 2013:

1) The end of my marriage

2) The beginning of a life on my own

I won’t go into the details of why I’m getting a divorce. Those closest to me know the reasons. While the reasons have not been popular with many of my friends and family, the support I’ve received has been outstanding. It goes to show that when it comes to friendships, quality truly outweighs quantity.

The events that lie ahead will be stressful, which does frighten me. I’ve already chewed my nails down to the bed and lost weight from having a constant upset stomach. Oh, and did I mention the random crying spells, usually at work? However, my motto through it all has been simple, “I’ll live”. With the help of family and friends to make me laugh and hear me cry, and running to clear my head and relieve stress (and the occasional Bacardi binge), I know I’ll make it through this mess.

The upcoming year will be one full of new beginnings, new adventures, and new accomplishments. Somehow I’m going to complete four full marathons and a possible 50K. Yes, it’s almost as though I’m running away from life. But I don’t care. Despite everything, I am excitied for everything to come. My calendar may still read 2013, but my mind is already celebrating my life ahead.

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Annoying Jerk and Old Iron Man: Making Friends at my Latest 10K

When it comes to races, some people enjoy the larger events with the big group of runners and cheering crowd. Me, I like to feel like I’m on my own little run until I get to the finish line where there is hopefully a shiny new medal waiting. Don’t get me wrong, big events are thrilling and the race-swag is nice. However, with a larger group of runners comes a bigger chance of running along side some annoying people.

The Stony Creek Distance Run is a small, week-night 5K and 10K race that takes place on the trails of Stony Creek Metropark. It’s also cheap, which made it a perfect choice for me. After a nerve-wrecking drive from Birmingham to Shelby Township in rush-hour traffic (it should be mandatory punishment for sex offenders to drive M-59 at rush hour every day for the rest of their lives), I happily awaited a pleasant run on the trails. Oh, and pleasant it was- perfect mid 70’s temps with no wind gusts or humidity. Pleasant, that is, until I ran into Annoying Jerk.

Commonly during a race I distract myself by focusing on other runners and assigning them names and character traits. For example: “Wow, Blue Shirt Girl is fast. I’ll let her pace me for a while. I wish I had her butt.” Or, “Ooh, Tattoo Guy sure has some dreamy eyes…” are thoughts often going through my head. For the first two miles of my 10K I focused on Old Iron Man, an older-looking fellow with an Iron Man logo tatooed on his ankle. I assumed that meant he had completed a full Iron Man and therefore he was instanly my hero. I ran close behind him for a while, until I was finally accosted by Annoying Jerk.

Annoying Jerk came from behind around mile 2.5 and began running my exact pace, nearly shoulder-to-shoulder. Since we were running on a narrow trail, and I’m claustrophobic, and who the hell does that shit anyway, I tried to surge ahead to lose him. In doing so, I passed Old Iron Man. “Great job!” he said to me. Awww. I dropped Annoying Jerk for a while until he caught up with me, again running practically on top of me. I tried to express my annoyance in civil ways, such as sighing heavily and surging ahead several more times. But each time I did, Annoying Jerk would come sprinting from behind to run my exact fucking pace.

Now, if Annoying Jerk had been a good-looking shirtless guy, I may have enjoyed the company. “Why doesn’t he just pass me?” I kept thinking to myself, until finally I decided to lose him for good. With a 2 miles left to run, I sprinted ahead and never saw him again. I was then able to enjoy a solitary run through the beautiful trails until I crossed the finish line.

As I stood around after the race waiting for results to get posted (2nd in my age group, woo-hoo!), Old Iron Man congratulated me on a good run. “You kept a great steady pace! Good for you!” Old Iron Man also won his age group! I want him to be my grandpa. Then I saw him. Annoying Jerk was coming right at me. “Hey there! Good job!” Well, you would know, you were practically running on top of me THE ENTIRE RACE. But I didn’t say that. I thanked him. He then proceeded to explain how he had an hour drive to the race, and how he could’ve run faster had he not been so tired. Dude, don’t give me your bull-shit. I beat you and that’s all there is to it. Go home and cry into your Annoying Jerk beer.

In the end, the crazy antics of one inconsiderate runner weren’t enough to ruin my race. I went home, cleaned the dirt off of my shins and relaxed with some red wine. I’m running another 10K on Saturday- the AdvoKate in Rochester. Let’s hope there’s more Old Iron Men than Annoying Jerks (and some shirtless guys wouldn’t hurt).

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A Warm Place

Beanie

Confession: I strongly dislike New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. First of all, there’s the hassle of having to pay a cover to get into your favorite bars, which will be overflowing with novice drinkers who can’t hold their liquor. Then there’s the big come down of counting down until midnight, when the crowd erupts despite nothing at all changing, except having to write a new year on your checks (yes I still write checks sometimes).

I will confess, however, into buying into the fervor of making goals for the new year. As someone who views most of their life as a failure to live up to expectations (sorry, I’ve never been known for my optimism), the promise of new beginnings and opportunities is exciting. This past year I met my main goals of finding a house and finishing (barely) a full marathon. And now, since I know you’re all on the edge of your seats, I present to you my goals for 2013:

1) Study for and *hopefully* pass the Series 7 exam: For those of you not in the financial industry, the Series 7 is a license that essentially allows you to buy and sell securities. It also means earning more money in my current position. I’m kind of fond of money. I’m not fond of studying, however, and the Series 7 is on par with the Bar Exam in terms of difficutly.

2) Run another marathon, break five hours!: Not just break five hours, smash it to pieces. My Detroit finishing time of 5:20 will shit it’s pants when it sees the new PR that 2013 is sure to bring. I’ve already registered for New York’s Wineglass Marathon in October. Debating on running a spring marathon as well.

3) Stop being such a pussy: It should be evident from reading this mess of a blog that fear and anxiety run my life, especially the social realm. It took a lot for me to show up to my first day running with Your Pace or Mine. I did put myself out there though, and was able to meet an awesome group of people (some of whom I’m running with at the Wineglass Marathon). I’m not saying that being an introvert is something that needs fixing, but being timid and scared of perfectly nice people does. Last night I went to a party thrown by some YPOMers. It was akward and I didn’t talk too much, and I also tossed and turned all night worrying about what I did say, and whether or not I embarrassed myself. WHAT A BLAST! Being confident in social situations has been a life-long struggle, so I don’t expect it to be resolved by the end of the year. I just need to keep taking more risks.

I don’t know about you all, but I’m super happy the holidays are over and I actually have some time to myself to plan and scheme. I’m excited to be running a half marathon in January, appropriately titled the Snowman. Winter can kiss my ass! You will not derail my running!

Enough about me though. What are YOUR goals for 2013? What would you like to do more of (or less of)? Make me a happy girl and leave a comment below.

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