Category Archives: Half Marathon

 HAWAII, KITTENS, AND AGE GROUP AWARDS, OH MY! (or, what I’ve been up to since my 50 mile race)

Widget Medal

Our newest medal model, Widget

After my 50 mile race on April 29th, May arrived and flew by in a flash. Though I only logged about 80 miles of running that month (my lowest monthly mileage since 2012), I guess I had a few good excuses.

First was my trip to Hawaii. OH MY GOODNESS WHERE ARE ALL THE PICTURES?!?!?! Well, though I was in paradise, it was nonetheless a business trip in paradise. I took some pictures but the business at hand left little time for exploring outside of the Honolulu city limits. That’s not to say I didn’t have a blast. Waikiki is full of great shopping, bars, restaurants, and beautiful ocean views. Though the weather was perfect for outdoor running, the amount of tourists and some scary, sun-fried locals made me cautious about running outside by myself. Alas, all the miles I logged while in Hawaii were on the hotel treadmill. Shout-out to Maui Brewing Company for having some delicious beers, and to the person who invented the Mai Tai.

The morning after I landed in Michigan, after sleeping in until 11am because I had just flown through a billion different time zones, Shawn whisked me away to a belated birthday brunch (oh yeah, I had a birthday while in Hawaii). Suspiciously, he grabbed our cat carrier before we departed. We had been casually looking at kittens available for adoption but suddenly I realized Shawn’s longing for a kitten was serious. He had something up his sleeve. After having lunch at the New Hudson Inn (they stopped serving breakfast at 11am, jerks), Shawn drove us to a local Pet Supplies Plus that was having an adoption event. Long story short- Laura spots black kitten, Laura holds black kitten, Shawn and Laura walk out with black kitten. Black kitten is now Widget.

During the joy that comes with raising a kitten, the first week Widget was in our home, I unfortunately missed some issues going on with our existing kitty, Beans. Shawn mentioned he didn’t eat much while I was in Hawaii but I selfishly attributed it to him being anxious that I was away. After Widget’s arrival Beans began to eat less, rarely use the litter box, and hid away from us. After the first couple days I blamed it on stress from the new kitten. But by mid-week I was concerned. He began vomiting regularly and showing absolutely no interest in food. He stopped purring, meowing, and acting like his normal cheerful self. By Thursday night I decided he needed immediate help and took him to the emergency vet in town. After examining him until 1:30am, it was found Beans had Pancreatitis, a UTI, and a possible mass showed up on an X-ray. My poor baby kitty had to spend all of Memorial Day weekend in the hospital recovering while Shawn, Widget, and I went up North to my parent’s home in Charlevoix for the first time in a year. It’s been over a week since Beans has been home, and I wish I could say he’s made a 100% recovery. However, he has a follow-up appointment tomorrow to find out for sure about that possible mass. In short, I’ve been an absolute mess. I blame myself for him getting sick and I just want my normal chatty, affectionate, goofy, kitty back.

In the midst of Beans’ illness, I ran my first race since my 50 miler, the Miles For Mankind Half Marathon in Westland, MI this past Saturday. I finished in a time of about 2:13ish, which while slow, was still my fastest half marathon time in over three years. To quote our current president: Sad! But it also gave me hope that faster times are ahead. Since this was a small race, my completely non-impressive time was somehow enough for me to win 3rd in my age group. I got a lovely green ribbon that you can see modeled by my Widget.

Before I knew it, May was completely over and June was upon me, leaving 13 weeks until my next 50 miler. I’m happy to report that in addition to the 13.1 miles I ran in Westland, I was able to log 48 total miles this past week. My butt is officially in gear. I have a lot more “life” being thrown at me lately- a sick kitty, a busy job, a house, a husband who sometimes appreciates having me around, but I’m determined to rock North Country in August.

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The Lost Year

As my tens of loyal readers surely noticed, I didn’t publish a single post to The Rum Runner in 2016. I previously discussed that this was due to having a travel-intensive job that drained most of my excess energy. In fact, I thought I would just abandon my silly little blog all together. When I had the urge to write a few weeks ago I had fun looking back on all my previous posts and reliving some fun (and some painful) memories. It’s truly hard to believe that I’ve been recording my musings on running for five years now!

That being said, I realized recently that I sold myself short regarding my running accomplishments last year. In addition to many miles logged on Hampton Inn treadmills, I completed three marathons in three new states:

  1. The Walt Disney World Marathon (as part of the Goofy Challenge), Florida
  2. The Wisconsin Marathon, appropriately in Wisconsin
  3. The Tucson Marathon, Arizona
Arizona

MB and me in AZ

I won’t go into mega details since I’m terrible at writing exciting recaps. In fact, I’m pretty terrible at writing anything exciting. But you know who DOES write awesome recaps? My friend MB over at Run All The States! There you can read about our shared adventures, and her solo ones, which I’m sure she’ll be doing more of because my husband is all “smart” with money and has put his foot down on doing any out-of-state marathons for a while because we bought a house and we’re adults and he’s a BIG MEANIE (just kidding of course, but I’m itching for an adventure).

I didn’t set any PRs with these marathons, unless number of poop stops during a marathon counts as a special PR. Darn Disney and their early-ass wake up calls really messed with my system the entire weekend. Wisconsin offered a great course the first half of the marathon, then saw us running on shoulders of main roads the second half. Also featured on the second half was a brick wall of wind pushing against me. Tucson had a pretty boring course as well with even more miles run on shoulders of main roads, only these weren’t closed to traffic! Another thing all three of these runs had in common was a complete lack of beer. After running the Route 66 Marathon in 2015 I’ve just come to expect booze every few miles to help kill the pain.

Other running highlights from last year:

  • Visiting one of my best friends in Salt Lake City, Tracy, and running the SLC Half Marathon. It’s such a beautiful course and I’d love to return to run the full again.
  • Subjecting myself to more trails- I ran three trail half marathons and one four-hour timed run on a loop in Bloomer Park. I have learned that trails are hard and make me hungry. Boy I can’t wait to run 50 miles of trails soon (that was typed in sarcasm font).
  • Running the Brooksie Way and actually pushing myself to a challenging pace on such a beautiful fall day in Michigan. I love this half marathon so much.
  • Completing my very first Detroit Turkey Trot! It was also my first 10K in a very long time that I finished in an hour. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

So despite the missed races and long runs and time with friends and family due to my job, I guess upon reflection that 2016 wasn’t the complete disaster I remember it to be. Also, those hotel points and SkyMiles will prove very handy when I’m allowed to travel again. Honestly, what I am looking forward to most this year is more miles and fun with my running friends.

 

 

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2014 Year in Review: Numbers and Math and a Preview of 2015

My father is a numbers guy and that has always bugged me. Whenever I mention a social gathering/race/whatever I’ve just attended, his first question is always “How many people were there?” When I point out that sorry, I wasn’t aware I was supposed to be counting, he starts throwing out estimates. “Were there about 20? More than 30?” It gets on my nerves for the simple fact that my brain isn’t wired that way. Numbers are my enemy. I’m a known generous tipper because of my inability to do simple math in my head. I would suck on the Price is Right because fuck if I know what a broom is supposed to cost. The only time I obsess about numbers, however, is in relation to my training. Here is what my 2014 looked like in numbers. My dad would be proud.

In 2014 I completed 2,198 miles:

I ran 1,794 miles

I biked 375 mile

I swam 28 miles

I ran 2 marathons with a PR of 4:29:10 (which included at least 5 potty breaks)

I ran these marathons in 2 new states (scratch Utah and Indiana off the long list!)

I ran 6 half marathons with a PR of 1:50:10

I ran 3 of those halfs as a pace group leader

I ran 1 half marathon through 2 countries (I heart you Detroit International Half Marathon)

I finished 1 half marathon holding the hand of the man I love

I ran 6 5Ks with a PR of 23:47

I entered 3 sprint triathlons and successfully completed 1 (damned open water anxiety)

I missed out on 3 races I registered for due to being hit by 1 car

I peed in the woods 2 times

I pooped my pants 1 time

And on that final (brown) note, I will end the data. I’m very proud of my accomplishments in 2014, even though it ended on a frustrating note with inexplicably slower speeds, including a 10K I ran in 1:01. Ouch. I’ve been going out for shorter runs lately and trying to really push myself and I’m happy to say there is still some speed hidden inside of me, I just have to work for it.

Though I’m already registered for two marathons in 2015, including the Skyline Chili 4-Way at the Flying Pig in Cincinnati (that’s a 5K, 10K, and full marathon all in one weekend), my main goal is to run less in the coming year. I feel like a lot of my training runs lately have been for the wrong reasons, whether to prove that I’m tough or to be like the cool kids who run 50+ miles a week. Running less will also give me time to swim more, which will help me achieve my main goal of 2015: swim an open water 5K. Right now the idea sounds ridiculous and I’ve been afraid of telling people for fear of being laughed out of the room. Really? The same girl who couldn’t finish 750 meters in a sprint triathlon is going to finish 5,000?! What can I say, I love an impossible challenge (unless it involves math). I love how strong swimming makes me feel and though I have a long way to go, I’m willing to put in the effort. I see many more group swims with the FAST Masters Swimmers in the coming months.

The past year was thrilling and difficult and exciting and terrifying and shitty and wonderful and I can’t wait for the adventures and life experiences the new year brings.

 

 

 

 

 

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MY HIGHLY ANTICIPATED NEW POST, BRACE YOURSELVES!!!!!!!

Oh, hey there! My it’s been a long time since I’ve updated this thing. I’ve been BOMBARDED with requests to update my thousands upon thousands of readers with an update of my activities, and I’ve never been one to disappoint. So get yourself a snack and a beer and get settled while you read back on some of the exciting things I accomplished this past summer/fall:

1) I got hit by a car! Okay, this isn’t necessarily an accomplishment, but anytime you collide with heavy machinery it definitely makes the memory bank. One August morning I was out for a training run and crossed an intersection at the “walk” signal. Glancing over my left shoulder, I didn’t see any drivers turning right into the intersection. Unfortunately, a black SUV was turning from the far right turn lane and hit me with their front passenger mirror and front end. They also drove off, bastard! Anyway, I was lucky to walk away relatively unharmed. I sustained a bruised calf muscle and tendonitis in my left foot that took me out of the running game for nearly a month.

While I’m totally healed by now, my speed and endurance have not returned. At all. In fact, I’m practically back to the speeds I was hitting my first year running. It’s been humbling for sure, and a bit disconcerting. Running feels extra difficult lately. I’ve scheduled a doctor’s appointment to rule out any vitamin deficiencies, or cancer or AIDS or whatever.

2) I ran my fifth marathon in my fourth state! MEDALS AND RUNNING ALL THE STATES!!! I knocked Indiana off my list by running the Indianapolis Monumental on November 1st. I had no great expectations for this run. My lack of long runs due to my accident and slowing speeds made me adopt a “fuck it!” attitude. I knew I could finish, and that’s all I expected.

What I didn’t expect was how much fun I’d have. Indianapolis is a fun town- clean, safe, and full of bars and good eats. The architecture was also stunning. I made this trip with my friend and running-buddy extraordinaire, Mary Beth. After our respective races we ate and drank away the soreness.
Oh, and for the record, I finished in 5:02:06. Blaaaah. Whatever, I got my medal bitches!

3) I finished a triathlon without freaking out in the water! By far my proudest accomplishment this summer. On September 14th I completed the Holly Recreation Area sprint triathlon, held by Tri To Finish. It was one of the first chilly mornings of the fall and temps were in the low 40s. The scenery was pretty and serene and helped calm my out of control swimming nerves. I finished the swim, slowly but surely, and proceeded to one of the hilliest bike courses I’ve ever experienced. In fact, I saw many an athlete walk their expensive tri bikes up the relentless hills.

I, however, stayed on my 1,000-ton road bike and never walked. I ran the 5K with no feeling in my quads and crossed that finish line with immense pride. I did it! Finally a successful sprint triathlon in 2014! I fell in love with Tri To Finish events so much after this race that I entered their contest to be a sponsored team member in 2015. What does that mean? I have no idea! But they claim they pick “heart over speed”, so thank God for that. I submitted my pitch yesterday. Fingers and toes crossed!

4) I paced more races! Along with my Your Pace or Mine buddies, I’ve been fortunate to pace two half marathons this fall- The Brooksie Way and the Clarkston Backroads. What’s better than running a fall half marathon? Running for free and inspiring other runners, of course! I absolutely love pacing and can’t wait for more opportunities. There’s even been talks of YPOM being asked to pace the Charlevoix Half Marathon, which all my millions of readers will recognize as my favorite half marathon EVER.

So what’s next? I’m currently training for the Rock N’ Roll New Orleans Marathon on January 25th. My super-awesome-boyfriend Shawn will be running with me, although much faster and further ahead of me I’m sure. Jerk. Mary Beth and some wild YPOMers will be joining the fun as well. I would love a PR, no matter how small. In the meantime I’m cleaning up my diet (haha not really), doing more speedwork, and waiting to hear what the doctor tells me in regards to my recent sluggishness. I’ve also been hitting up the pool more often in hopes of an epic and wildly stupid goal I have for next summer…you’ll have to stay tuned.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your tips for getting over a running slump below!*

*Besides rest, because that would just be silly.

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Fighting the Fat Kid

One of the more embarrassing moments of my childhood was from my fourth grade gym class. It was the mile run day for the President’s Challenge, that horrible week during the year when your fitness was measured and I of course came up short in everything. As I recall I was already 110 pounds at age 10 and my idea of fitness was running to the cupboard to sneak a few Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies before dinner. The one area of the President’s Challenge where I excelled was the sit-and-reach, which measured flexibility. I was always number one in my class, the only advantage of being blessed with short legs and a long torso. Enough of what I was good at, now on to the cringe-inducing mile run…

The mile run was eight laps around a spray-painted loop in a field behind our school. Granted, it’s not like we had Nike technical apparel to change in to. I was most likely running in some uncomfortable skirt and sweater that my mother picked out for me. Anyway, fat kids in skirts don’t run fast. In fact, I came in dead last out of my entire class. I was so slow that everyone was done while I was finishing my final lap. Imagine being a fat kid with a perm (thanks, mom!) and having all your classmates stare at you as you huff-and-puff. To add insult to injury, my shoe fell off as I rounded the final corner. To this day I can still see the 25+ faces of annoyed school children watching me hop on one foot to my tear-filled finish.

Fast forward 21 years to last Saturday. I was attempting my second sprint triathlon in Lexington, Michigan. I hadn’t done any real training and the last time I swam was at my last sprint tri in September of last year. For some reason the waters of Lake Huron terrified me and I immediatley panicked when the gun went off. I couldn’t control my breathing, ended up swallowing a bunch of water, and threw up on myself. Lovely. Luckily the rescue kayaks had swimming noodles for idiots like myself. I took one after a few feet of flopping around erraticaly. While I wasn’t dead last to get out of the water, I was surely the only person under the age of 50 with a security blanket noodle. My ego was decimated. As I ran back to the transition area, I couldn’t help but recall my earlier embarrassing moment in athletic acheivement.

Every day of my life is a struggle against Fat Kid Laura. In my late teens to mid twenties I fought back in unhealthy ways by starving myself and smoking and eventually developing bulimia. At the age of 27 I started training for my first half marathon and finally found out that I was a decent runner after all. I fought against Fat Kid Laura by training and enjoying races, and every once in a while winning my age group. Running has given me more self-esteem than any other aspect of my life. However, there are moments like the Lexington disaster when Fat Kid Laura comes back in full force to destroy my confidence.

It’s easy for me to not feel good enough. I see girls with nice boobs and I feel inadequate. I see girls with good careers and feel I have nothing to offer. I struggle with the math while studying for my Series 7 and I feel stupid. These feelings can utterly consume me if I don’t fight back. So I failed my swim portion miserably in Lexington. I’m not throwing in the towel and letting Fat Kid Laura win this round. I am determined to let Kick Ass Adult Laura reign victorious. On Monday I participated in a tri training group and I even signed up for private swim lessons to improve my technique and efficiency. A bit extreme maybe, but Fat Kid Laura is a tough bitch to beat.

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Racing and Pacing and Beer Chasing

RACING

Hey, didn’t I run a marathon recently?

Officially it’s been a little over two weeks since I ran the Salt Lake City Marathon, though it feels like ages ago. You can probably tell by my reluctance to write a recap that the race didn’t go quite as well as planned (the other reason being my master procrastination skills). My official finish time was 4:29:02, which is officially a 30-second PR, but I was hardly in a celebratory mood after finishing this marathon. My run was plagued by stomach issues so severe that I had to stop FIVE TIMES to use the port-a-johns. Every stop I saw my goal time slipping further and further away, and I even thought about quitting. However, in the midst of my despair, I thought about how I was getting that medal whether I finished in four hours or six hours, and to stop acting like such a sore loser. I had trained in below freezing wind chills and through personal turmoil, so I wasn’t going to let a “crappy run” (see what I did there!) ruin a good time. And in the end, I did have a great time running Salt Lake City. The course was beautiful, the weather was perfect, and I had some of my best friends there to cheer me on. Life was truly good that day.

My next marathon will be a return to Charlevoix on June 21st. I’ve been cutting back on sugar, which I believe to be the culprit of my crappy experience (I did it again!). Nothing but plain bagels before long runs from now on, and absolutely NO CAFFEINATED GU! I’ll be experimenting a lot with pre-long run nutrition in the next month, which will hopefully get me closer to my goal of breaking four hours.

PACING

A few months back a message was posted to the Your Pace or Mine forum asking for volunteer pacers for the Let’s Move Half Marathon in Mt. Clemens. Though it was a week after my marathon, I knew I would have no issue pacing the 2:20 group and happily volunteered my novice services. I figured it would be a fun new running experience, plus I get to run a half marathon AND get a medal for FREE! I had a blast with my pacing partner, telling horrible jokes and feeling kind of like a badass when people marveled at my ability to run a half a week after a full marathon. I can’t wait for more pacing opportunities in the future, as my race addiction is quite expensive. Below is a picture that captures the sheer joy a free race will bring:

I am ever so white.

I am ever so white.

BEER CHASING

This past Friday I ran ANOTHER FREE RACE thanks to the kind people in the Southeast Michigan Runners Facebook group. The race was the Hightail to Ale 5K held at the Atwater Brewery in Detroit. Full disclosure: I am not a fan of Atwater Beer. I had tried their IPA in the past and it was pretty gross. However, my favorite kind of beer is always FREE, so I was excited to run a 5K that gave you not only a free beer, but also a pint glass, shirt, and bottle-opener medal! Add in a nice jaunt along Detroit’s Riverfront, and this race was pretty much perfect. Despite hosting over 4,000 runners I was able to PR according to my watch, though my name is mysteriously absent from the official results. Hmm. Oh well, it was a fun Friday night race and I got to see a lot of familiar faces. Metro Detroit truly has a tight running community.  And as for my free beer, I tried the Dirty Blonde. It was…okay.

My next race will be the Fifth Third Riverbank Run in Grand Rapids, my first time doing this famous 25K! Speaking of beer, a stop to Founders will be absolutely necessary. After that, I’m giving racing a rest until Charlevoix. I think my body and wallet will be grateful.

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Random Thoughts: March Madness Edition

ImageMarch has been a month of personal records for the Rum Runner, in both the 5K and Half-Marathon (26:00 and 2:01:36 respectively). I should have recapped those races but frankly I just don’t feel like it. The thought of another race recap bores the hell out of me. My mind is more sporadic which leads us to yet another edition of Random Thoughts:

1) Randy and I leave for Utah on Easter Sunday to visit our favorite couple ever, Tracy and Charlie. Tracy and I met in college when we became roommates. We spent many a drunken night making fun of The Dog Whisperer and the rest is history. We’ll be visiting Moab for some hiking and mule riding and spend the rest of our time Sister-Wifing around Salt Lake City. I can’t wait!

2) I just bought a six-month unlimited yoga package at my favorite studio. I really hope to get my money’s worth and be able to contort into a pretzel by the end of September.

3) My morning routine could use an overhaul. Right now it consists of abusing the Snooze button, jumping out of bed way too late, tripping over cats, screaming about having nothing to wear, and rushing out the door still half asleep. Now that the weather is nicer I want to make a new tradition of getting up earlier to run two miles every morning. Just two easy miles to awake my mind and body and start the day off right.

4) Saturday morning me and some Your Pace or Mine buddies will be running the 16 mile training run held by the Lake Orion Hansons. I don’t have 16 miles on my schedule but I’m going rogue and doing it anyway! YOU AREN’T THE BOSS OF ME HAL HIGDON!

5) I’ve been craving really strong coffee lately. I’ve been drinking it black, which I never do. I’ve also been craving really good microbrews and I’ve never been a huge beer drinker. My friend joked that my strange cravings could mean I was pregnant, though I think most people would agree that coffee and beer are horrible pregnancy cravings. By the way, I’m definitely not preggo. CHEERS!

What are everyone’s spring plans? Any races on the horizon? Any babies in the oven? Oh my that sounded terrible. You know what I meant.

 

 

 

 

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Race Report! The Snowmans Half Marathon: Snow & Sluts 2013

The day of after Christmas this past year I was in a funk. There was some minor drama occurring between me and certain family members which had me feeling lonely and depressed. To cheer myself up, I turned to the internet, looking for some retail therapy. New boots would surely heal my wounds. Instead, I saw a post on Facebook about the Snowmans Half Marathon on in Mt. Pleasant, MI. The race was part of a series of three, each occurring during winter months promising runs through snow, slush, and mud. Instead of boots, I found salvation in a half marathon. In January. In Michigan.

Thankfully Randy was super supportive in my decision to run a half marathon in potential blizzard conditions. “Whatever makes you happy,” was his response. Right on! Michigan experienced one snow storm early on and then conditions became mild, melting most of the snow and ice off of the sidewalks which made running conditions optimal. I was running record high mileage during this usually abysmal month. Then, the week before my half, the snow fell and the mercury plummeted. We experienced sub-zero wind chills and suddenly I was more frightened of frostbite than running on ice.

When the morning of January 26th rolled around, it was a sunny 17 degrees in Mt. Pleasant, a relative heat wave. Randy and I had rolled into town the night before in a white-knuckle drive that saw five cars in the ditches. Mt. Pleasant is the home of Central Michigan University, and our packet pick-up was in a bar called The Wayside. The place smelled of stale beer and broken condoms. Dancing cages and stripper poles were placed throughout the dance floor. Runners warmed up by shaking their stuff. “The men’s room is nothing but a toilet with no stall around it,” I overheard. Oh college, how I’ve missed you.

Now on to the race. I debated wearing my Yak Trax. In the end I decided to spare my feet and run without them, and I’m thankful I did. Though the course was completely covered in snow and/or slush, it was compact enough so I didn’t slip around too much. The course itself went through Central’s campus and through some country roads. I saw horses and alpacas. I ran cautiously without a goal time, and in the end completed the half marathon in 2 hours 15 minutes. Not my best, but not my worst either. Randy was of course there at the finish line with a camera and a smile on his face. Has he ever taken a picture of me finishing that turned out well? No, not even close. But I look forward to it all the same.

After receiving my medal I cleaned up to go enjoy my free drink coupon at a local pub. My calves and hamstrings took a beating in the snow and the Bacardi helped sooth the pain. Despite the conditions, The Snowmans Half felt pretty effortless and it felt great to know I was in the kind of shape to just get up and run a half marathon without months of preparation. It got me fired up for my next half in March, which I hope to complete in 2:05.

I have to say that the more races I run, the more I appreciate the small town races with the smaller price tags. The frills may be few but what they lack in swag, they make up for in charm and camaraderie. If you live in Michigan and love running in whatever Mother Nature throws at you, I highly suggest you run the remaining two half marathons in the Winter Warriors Series- The Ice Cube on February 16th or the Mud Dog on March 23rd. Both races are in Mt. Pleasant.

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A Warm Place

Beanie

Confession: I strongly dislike New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. First of all, there’s the hassle of having to pay a cover to get into your favorite bars, which will be overflowing with novice drinkers who can’t hold their liquor. Then there’s the big come down of counting down until midnight, when the crowd erupts despite nothing at all changing, except having to write a new year on your checks (yes I still write checks sometimes).

I will confess, however, into buying into the fervor of making goals for the new year. As someone who views most of their life as a failure to live up to expectations (sorry, I’ve never been known for my optimism), the promise of new beginnings and opportunities is exciting. This past year I met my main goals of finding a house and finishing (barely) a full marathon. And now, since I know you’re all on the edge of your seats, I present to you my goals for 2013:

1) Study for and *hopefully* pass the Series 7 exam: For those of you not in the financial industry, the Series 7 is a license that essentially allows you to buy and sell securities. It also means earning more money in my current position. I’m kind of fond of money. I’m not fond of studying, however, and the Series 7 is on par with the Bar Exam in terms of difficutly.

2) Run another marathon, break five hours!: Not just break five hours, smash it to pieces. My Detroit finishing time of 5:20 will shit it’s pants when it sees the new PR that 2013 is sure to bring. I’ve already registered for New York’s Wineglass Marathon in October. Debating on running a spring marathon as well.

3) Stop being such a pussy: It should be evident from reading this mess of a blog that fear and anxiety run my life, especially the social realm. It took a lot for me to show up to my first day running with Your Pace or Mine. I did put myself out there though, and was able to meet an awesome group of people (some of whom I’m running with at the Wineglass Marathon). I’m not saying that being an introvert is something that needs fixing, but being timid and scared of perfectly nice people does. Last night I went to a party thrown by some YPOMers. It was akward and I didn’t talk too much, and I also tossed and turned all night worrying about what I did say, and whether or not I embarrassed myself. WHAT A BLAST! Being confident in social situations has been a life-long struggle, so I don’t expect it to be resolved by the end of the year. I just need to keep taking more risks.

I don’t know about you all, but I’m super happy the holidays are over and I actually have some time to myself to plan and scheme. I’m excited to be running a half marathon in January, appropriately titled the Snowman. Winter can kiss my ass! You will not derail my running!

Enough about me though. What are YOUR goals for 2013? What would you like to do more of (or less of)? Make me a happy girl and leave a comment below.

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Charlevoix 2012: How to do Everything Wrong and PR Anyway

Friday, June 22nd: Sitting on the patio of my parents’ home in East Jordan (about 20 minutes outside Charlevoix), I can barely conceal my overwhelming sense of dread. My husband and I arrived Up North around 12:45 and my dad broke the Bacardi out of the cupboard shortly after. A spread of summer-themed junk food covered the patio table. “I should not be eating all this rich food,” I think to myself, as I raise my second Bacardi and Diet to my lips which I DEFINITELY should not be drinking. While everyone was in party mode, I was trying my best to act like someone who had to wake up at 5:00 a.m. the next day to run a half marathon.

“Why are you sulking?” my mom asks.

“I am so not prepared for tomorrow.”

“Why not?” my dad asks.

“I haven’t had a long run all month. My ankle has been hurting me. My colon goes into spasms every time I run. I don’t think I’ll survive.” I raise my glass in the air, which is my husband’s cue to make me another drink.

My dad, ever the eternal optimist, chimes in with this advice: “Failure is not an option. Just keep telling yourself that.”

I roll my eyes. “People fail all the time dad.”

“It’s only a failure if you don’t learn anything.” My dad, the living fortune cookie.

So, what exactly did I learn running a half marathon ill-prepared? Mainly, I learned that all of my worries were for naught, because I PR’d anyway. THAT’S RIGHT! Fueled by my immense negativity (and two GUs), I ran more than 10 minutes faster than last year with a chip time of 2:09:10. Had I actually prepared, would I have run faster? Perhaps. While my run was far from a failure, there are many things I took away from it that will hopefully make my next half marathon even faster and stronger.

1) Don’t be a Slave to Your Pace  I accidentally started my Nike+ four mintues before the race started. I kept looking at it every five seconds to make sure I wasn’t starting too fast. When I finally glanced at my average pace at mile four, it read 11:35. “WHAT?!?! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!”, I screamed aloud in my head. Because of my falsely perceived lagging speed, I picked up the pace a little too fast. Next time I may just leave my watch at home (or not start it early like an idiot).

2) Fine-Tune Your Playlist Learn what music best motivates you at those critical times when your legs are on fire and you feel like strangling the volunteer well-wisher on the sidelines for being so damn happy. I thought I was motivated by heavy, aggressive rock music. As it turns out, those upbeat pop songs I added as filler where what really got my feet moving in times of need. That, and GU, which leads me to number 3:

3) Never put a Gu Packet, No Matter How “Empty”, in Your Pocket

4) Don’t Run in New Clothes  This is pretty much the golden rule of racing, but I stupidly wore new socks that my feet didn’t agree with, and I have the massive blood blister to prove it. I also witnessed a poor girl on the course who was obviously wearing a new pair of shorts that she didn’t realize would hike up so high she would half-moon everyone behind her. She looked miserable, but at least she had a nice butt.

5) Don’t be Annoying  This is advice for everyone else. Please don’t hold up a race so your boyfriend can take shitty smart phone pictures of you. Don’t tell a person to “PASS ME! PLEASE PASS ME!” when that person is struggling to run at all. If you are a volunteer, don’t yell “You’re almost there!” at mile 9. And for the love of God, do not tailgate. Run beside me if we are on the same party line, but not directly on my ass. That’s just creepy.

Phew, that was a lot of writing. I am happy to say that running Charlevoix has reignited my passion for running, so much so that I plan to do another half on the Fourth of July. This may be a dumb decision, and I’m sure my husband will LOVE spending his birthday carting me around to another race. What can I say, I’m addicted! I am not planning to PR; I just want to have fun and enjoy a new race.

With that attitude, failure will not be an option.

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